We tried fried-fish sandwiches from every major fast-food chain — and the winner is clear

• Lent, the Catholic observance during which many abstain from eating meat on Fridays, starts this week.
• Fast-food chains only have so many non-meat options — and fish sandwiches are often the most popular choice for observers, so we compared several chains' fishwiches. 
• Unsurprisingly, most were gross, but a select few actually surprised us. 

From the Norse braving the icy northern seas to Columbus aimlessly bumbling into the Caribbean, the ocean has struck fear and trepidation in the heart of man.

A similar feeling of hesitation often accompanies something else from the sea: fast-food fish sandwiches.

McDonald's Filet-O-Fish — created for Catholics abstaining from meat on Fridays during Lent — started the trend in 1962. Since then, most fast-food chains have introduced a Lent-approved fish sandwich. 

But are they any good? "Fast-food fish" doesn't sound seaworthy on paper. We decided to taste test fish sandwiches from seven major chains to find out which fishwiches fill our sails, and which ones deserve a keelhauling. 

SEE ALSO: A food scientist explains how Doritos are engineered to be the perfect snack

ALSO READ: A Mediterranean fast-casual chain that people are obsessed with is planning to take over America — here's what it's like

Ah, the beautiful bounty of the sea: Arby's, Burger King, Dairy Queen, McDonald's, Popeyes, Wendy's, and White Castle, fresh from the nets.

This fishy fare is ranked worst to best, as follows:

7. Arby's Crispy Fish Sandwich

The pale, sesame-seed encrusted bun is soft and clammy — seafood pun unintended, but welcomed nonetheless. In a word, the gist of this sandwich is … gummy. The texture (or "mouth feel," a food writing term that brings an instant grimace) is chewy and dense in both bun and fish. The fillet is comically large and tragically sodden. The tartar sauce is undetectable. If there were any flavor to begin with, I’m unsure I could identify it amidst the dense breading and denser bread.

It lacks any taste or joy. The chain should stick to its tried-and-true turf, because its surf is stagnant.

6. Dairy Queen Alaskan Pacific Cod Sandwich

I've met an iteration of this sandwich once before, and calling the impression "not good" would be a gargantuan understatement. This fish sandwich seems to be an update on the distasteful predecessor, improving some qualms and doubling down on others. The bun still slides about on the cod fillet, slicked by a spill of tartar sauce the size to which even the Exxon Valdez would take offense. The lettuce swims about in it like oil-soaked kelp, doomed to spend eternity in condiment purgatory.

However, to give credit where credit is warranted, the fish itself is an improvement. It’s not crispy, it's not great — but it's identifiable as something that once swam.